Digging a Path Forward

It was mid-March when I drove my kids home from school for the last time this year. We all thought we’d have a couple of weeks off and then we’d be back for the end of the year. The idea of some time off felt so nice since I was constantly running, physically, and mentally. On a proverbial treadmill. Like I couldn’t make it all stop even if I wanted to. 

After the first couple of weeks of all this, the reality and uncertainty set in. The unanswerable questions started to play in our minds. The worries crept in. It all went from a few weeks off to job loss, business pivot, work from home, wipe down our groceries status rather quickly. The rise to the occasion energy started to wane and we started to ask when this would all be over. I suppose we are still asking that. 
 

It’s like a new diet or exercise regimen. We’re all geared up at the onset, and a few weeks in it gets hard and lonely and we want to give up. We skip a few workouts and eat a bag of chips. But then we have a decision to make: keep eating chips and sleeping in or re-group and see it through. 
 

But something happens or can happen when we hit that wall. Any wall. The one where we are stripped of what we know and expect. Once we get there a few different things can happen. We rail against what is, we take on bitterness, anger, and look to place blame, anywhere we can find it. Or we can start doing all the things to make it seem okay. Hoist up fake optimism and make it looks as neat and tidy as possible. 
 

But there is a third option. And that’s to get present and honest. When we are stripped of all the stuff, the busyness, the to-do list, the full calendar that has a life of its own, spoken for weekends and a treadmill that we think can’t get off of, choosing to be present feels impossible. Or maybe it’s the last thing we’d ever consider. 

Someone pressed stop on the treadmill. Maybe God, maybe the Universe, maybe someone in a wet market or a lab. Maybe it doesn’t matter. The question is, will you get off and regroup? Glennon Doyle, an author I admire, shared this video on Instagram this week about being a writer. Essentially, she says if you want to write, you have to excavate. You have to dig. You have to go to places that may be entirely uncomfortable. And then, in time, and with perspective, your writing will emerge and your voice will become all your own. 

In my experience when the rug is pulled out from under me, that’s when I have learned to say, let’s regroup. Well, first I panic and get mad (not going to lie). After a few deep breaths and a workout I ask, what do I have to work with right now? 

Who do I know that can help? 

And I get really quiet. And I listen. 

I get to know myself a little bit more. 

The me that keeps knocking and asking to come out. 

You have that you inside too. 

The one we struggle to listen to, or we are afraid to let out. 

Because we’re a little bit scared him or her. 

We can either look at the loss, the wasteland that is our economy, the fear that holds so many of us, or we can pull up our sleeves, and start digging. We can clear a path forward. We can be afraid and brave. We can take one step even when we have no idea what the endpoint looks like. We can get rid of all the excess that we’ve told ourselves we need and we start creating a more authentic, real, honest, truthful, us. We can choose to face the lies we tell ourselves, the talents we’ve buried, the truths we’ve muffled. 

We can choose us, our families, our quality of life. We can be truthtellers and truth owners. We can climb out of the box we’ve placed ourselves in and choose something more obtuse, or colorful, or interesting. 

The Universe is handing you a gift. A regroup, a re-start, a re-configure. A renew. It’s scary and unknowing and a little exhilarating. It’s uncharted and holy. A scared space to consider. A place to rest and play. So do some figuring and doodling and see what you might find. 

So grab a shovel and start digging. Be brave enough to begin. See you, you might meet. You are free to color outside the lines, to shed the shoulds and oughts, to live free and purposeful. But you can’t know what that looks like unless you dig. Unless you get quiet enough to also get honest. It’s not a weekend project, but rather a new way of being in the world. And somehow, as we get more honest, life begins to flow and we see how things might fit together. Yes, there are cliffs to jump off and uncomfortable terrain, but there is also peace and calm. 


In the discomfort of this time, in the collective unknown, you are being invited to find yourself in a new way. To get still and honest and real. Before the treadmill turns back on, and your calendar fills up and you lose control again. Take some time. Get out a few pieces of paper. Don’t worry about HOW you will get there, first listen. Here are some questions you might ask yourself.

What is my heart telling me to do next?

What, if I could, do I want to leave behind?

Am I holding on to it because I’m sad or scared to let go?

If I could craft my day and my time, what would be my priorities? What would matter most?

What’s worth going back to? 

What is it time to leave behind?

Happy Mother's Day to all you who mother today! I honor you and send you my love today, and every day. To you for whom this day is hard, I see you and am with you. ❤️

I’m be exploring being present all month here and also on social media. I’ll be interviewing some really incredible women on Instagram Live. And I’ll be sharing not only my thoughts but those of people that I admire. Join me over on Insta if you haven’t yet :-)