On Tuesday, I was at the pool with my boys, Blake and Chase, for their swimming lessons. Since I had a work trip in the coming days, I told them we’d stay after swim class and swim together. I had Bodey with me too. Bodey is my three-year-old son with Muscular Dystrophy. He doesn’t walk or talk or sufficiently hold his body up on his own (though he’s making slow and steady progress). So for an hour+ I held my 43 pound boy in the water. Bodey loved being in the water and my boys loved showing me their newest swimming skills.

After about 30 minutes my arms started burning. And my attitude sucked. I looked around and saw moms with kids much younger than Bodey sitting playing with water toy with their kids or sitting in the sun as they watched their children play and splash together in the zero-entry pool. I had a little pity party for myself and then the thought crossed my mind:

My attitude goes dark when I’m comparing myself to others. 

Happy Birthday Bodey! We love you. You are a gift. Thank you for inviting us to see more, to love deeper and to live ever more present and thankful. You are a great blessing to our family. We look forward to watching you grow into the Bodey you were created to be.

But instead of crying in my car after loading up my Target purchases, I sat there and took a deep breath. I smiled at my kids then headed for Starbucks to treat myself for begin a brave mama. Sometimes just the little, normal things require us to be brave. I’m so thankful that my Ethan taught me how to be brave. This time around I’m challenging myself to see more gifts, and less limitations. I’m leaning into my role as a teacher. Instead of feeling defeated, I’m reminding myself of all the incredible ways Ethan touched our family and our community. Bodey will be no different. He will shine. He will teach and I will help him be the best Bodey he can be, just like I helped Ethan. I’m reminding myself to hold my head high, and to be proud of the life I have, instead of the life I planned for. Not easy, but worth the challenge. I’ve come to know that I’m here to learn, grow and teach. Some days I’m brave, some days I am not. And both are okay.