Cultivating Well Being During Times of Change

Quote + Image > Morgan Harper Nichols

Early in the pandemic, I told my husband I felt a bit lost. Like you, my plans for this year in business and life were grounded to a halt. I felt like I was walking on shaky ground. I expected that feeling to be as temporary as I initially expected the virus to be. Now, as the months continue, I am thinking a lot about nurturing our wellbeing during this time of change. How do we shore up our minds, bodies, and spirits when life around us is in constant flux? The truth is life is always changing and shifting, and we're always adapting. But these last 5 months have added extra uncertainty, loneliness, disconnection, and change. We have no idea what endpoint we are working towards or what the timeline looks like.

It seems the answer would be to do something, it's the American way. We roll up our sleeves and get to work, finding some solace in taking action. What if instead, the answer is to be. To go inside and see what's going on there? 

Instead, we spend much of our time watching what others do and have, what's trending and who thinks what. 

We scroll. 

We watch. 

We shop. 

We do. 

Over and over and over.

Yes, we're all pretty sick of being inside the four walls of our homes. We're sick of the restrictions, and we miss gathering freely for a concert or a game. I feel the same. 

But, I'm talking about going inside your heart and soul. Spending some time on your inner life and taking inventory. Nurturing our inner life is key to wellbeing. Right now, some of us are avoiding that look inside. Depression is on the rise. There's an uptick in anxiety, and I think it's fair to say that many of us feel mentally foggy. These are all the reasons we need to take an inventory of how we are really doing.

Make time for silence, for reading, for prayer, for exposing yourself to people and ideas that help center you. While much of our culture focuses on the external, the inside is where all the magic happens. Inside is where we find our true selves; it's where we access our creativity; it's where we find peace and rest. It's pretty challenging to weather change and upheaval if you don't spend some time on your inside.  And we don't have to do this alone. A social distance get-together with a few friends you can be real with, a phone call or a walk with someone who gets you goes a long way. So while we need to be checking in on ourselves, we also need to be checking in on each other. Prioritize connection with people you can be most real with and who are also nurturing their inner life.

Once you get inside, find a still point. What is that place of focus or rest for you? You may have more than one, but keep peeling the layers until you find a core point. People use all different words for this still point, yet I think we're all talking about the same thing. We all desire to be loved and to belong. If we're honest, we want to know that even amidst COVID, uncertainty, and the vitriol of our nation, there is a place we can rest. We want to know we are held and loved. Just as we are.

For me, ultimately, this still point is God. (You can use other words if you rather.) I'm talking about a Knowing and a Centeredness. A certainty that I'm here as a vessel to do the work I'm created to do in this time and space. That my life and my circumstances, even though they feel like it some days, are not haphazard. I'm part of a bigger dance, a greater story, and so I'll dance and meander till I find my way, knowing that I do not walk alone. I think we need to be reminded of these truths, especially when so many of us feel a bit lost. 

I cultivate an inner life and nurture my relationship with God, who, as hard as I've tried to lose in some seasons, feels ever-present. Nudging me and showing up as a deep knowing. But I can't hear the messages or feel the nudging if I'm not quiet. We also access this still point by sharing life with like-minded people—friends who are fellow travelers on this journey. We need one another. More than ever, we need a connection with people who can help us see a deeper meaning. 

Finally, devote yourself to a practice or practices that ground you. For me, it's things like:

getting up early, 

listening to my body, 

eating foods I know make me feel best, 

sitting in silence, prayer, reading spiritual teachers that stretch me, 

paying attention to my mindset, 

making time for creative expression, 

physical movement, and putting limits on social media and mindless scrolling. 

I have not arrived in any of these areas, but I'm cultivating them. I'm nurturing myself by practicing them. In these disciplines, we feel a sense of agency during a time that feels a bit out of control. These practices are things we can go back to as we continue to ground ourselves. And as I've suggested before, we can share these practices with others to foster connection and accountability. 

I worry we are looking for some person, some politician, some policy, some school board, some news outlet, some outside force to save us, to right our wrongs, and to get it all organized. And I think we've got it wrong. Yes, all those forces can make a difference, and we should 100% be engaged where we feel lead to be. But, if we look to them to be our compass, our ship will never sail in the right direction. We must nurture our insides now more than ever. Find that still point and return to our grounding practices day after day. There is no magic potion or a crystal ball. We are the plan. We are the people for the job. So let's operate from a place of stillness that isn't swayed by the storms around us, but remains grounded and peaceful. 

And a reminder today, you are loved. Just as you are.