Connection, Art + Healing Ourselves
“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
Last night I went to see Little Women with my friend Emily. It's been many years since I read the book, but I've always loved the character of Jo, in whom I see some of myself. The movie was so well done. A thoughtful coming of age film about growing up, being a woman with ambition and talent at a time that made pursuing those dreams hard, and the beauty of connection and love that we all need. As I watched, I found myself envious of the genuine connection the sisters shared. Each woman was different, and they certainly didn't always get along, but their love and need for one another trumped all else.
I mentioned last week that I've been reading the book The Joy of Missing Out. I'm only about ⅓ the way through, but it's resonating with me deeply. What resonates most is the call to find your north star and follow it. While I know who I am and what is important to me, I find I'm too easily pulled by requests and offers, especially when it involves helping others. The author suggests we ask ourselves, not "do I have time to do that," but instead, "is this pointing me to my north star?"
In an ever interconnected world, which is incredibly fascinating, there is a sense that we can feel lost. That we feel actually quite disconnected from ourselves and others. Watching the film last night reminded me that we, as humans, and as women need each other, we need to pursue our art, and through both, we can heal our hearts.
Daily I'm connected to many people, primarily through email and social media. I'm sure you are too. Those venues have introduced me to some of the greatest women I know. They have provided connections that have helped me grow as a woman, manifest my dreams and opened my world exponentially. But I've learned they do not substitute for the physical human need of sitting in front of a friend who will listen and share their life with you. They don't call forth the needed vulnerability that our hearts yearn to share. They allow connection at an arm's length, where we can control the conversation and the truth of our hearts. As I watch the way the four sisters in Little Women share their lives, it reinforced to me how important an inner circle of friends really is. Just a few people you can lean on, be honest with, and who you will allow to see you. And it also made me wonder if we do a very good job of cultivating those relationships in our busy, here, there and everywhere life.
Each of the four sisters had a talent that lit her heart on fire. Jo loved to write, Meg loved to act, Amy loved to paint, and Beth loved to play the piano. They each came alive when they were doing that thing they loved. How often do we tell ourselves that pursuing our craft, that one thing that brings us to life is a luxury? We put that part of ourselves last. Thinking we'll get it when we are done with all our other "jobs." We give ourselves to everyone else but ourselves.
When I was young, my mom took painting classes. I remember staying up late watching her do her homework. I recall feeling utterly relaxed as she mixed colors and brought to life that week's assignment. I loved that she pursued her art. And while I don't remember how long she took the classes, I do remember how much I loved that she did. I don't recall the time she was gone from home in class or how many hours her homework took. I don't remember if it meant my dad made us PB+J for dinner or if it meant she took the car for the evening. I remember how cool it was that my mom was a painter. I saw a gift she had that I previously had no idea existed. When we pursue our art, it gives us life. It also signals to others around us that they, too, can chase theirs. It teaches them that the pursuit of their art and the joy it brings is a worthy cause.
Throughout the movie, Jo wants to be a published author. She keeps writing and failing and writing and succeeding. {spoiler alert} After her sister Beth dies, she pours herself into writing. Day and night as if she can't stop. She finally realizes her dream and holds a physical copy of her book. It was as if her grief brought forth her book. And in the process, she brought healing to herself.
Relationships with people who see me and the act of creating art have saved me too. Watching Little Women last night made me want to pour more of myself into the women in my life who feed me. Into my sisters and friends. How precious this short life is. It made me want to pour more of myself into my art. Into the creation of things that I love. Not just things that I'm good at (there's a difference), but of that which sets my heart on fire.
So as you go into this week, I have a few questions for you to think about:
Who do you want to invest in relationships with? Who is in your inner circle? If you don't have one, who can you let in? What is one thing you can do this week to connect with a friend or sibling and let them know they are important to you?
What is your art? How can you make it a priority? How can you breathe more life and joy into you?
Sunday Love to you,
PS. Have you check out my new Heart Strong Storytelling Project yet? I’m profling 20+ stories of people living heart strong.
