Four things I do (almost) daily to help me grow, live with intention + work towards my goals.
Each week, on Sunday morning, I write a blog post/newsletter that I share with those of you on my email list. For the month of December, I’ll be sharing my weekly posts here as well as in email form so those of you not on my email list can get a peek into my messages. My hope is always to encourage you to grow through what you go through, to challenge you to think in a new way and to give you tools to shape your life. If you’d like to sign up for my email list click here.
We’re all busy and that can make adding practices to our lives difficult. I fly by the seat of my pants many days and some days, even with the best of intentions, I can’t seem to get done what I planned. This is the life of us moms, entrepreneurs, working women, go-getters and those of us caring for people who need us. Yet, even in the hum of our lives, it is so important to make some space for rituals and practices that feed our souls.
Practices ground us and give us something to go back to each day or a few times each week so we can be centered amid the craziness of life. They are a place we can go when life feels overwhelming. They can offer clarity during times that feel anything but clear. So here’s a practice I’ve brought into my life this year that you might like to too.
Grab a journal, any journal will do, and try these four practices in this order. I think the order actually matters. I've tested doing this process in different ways. Beginning in silence grounds your body, mind, and spirit as you do this work. Ending with gratitude keeps our minds and spirits focused on our blessings.
Sit in silence - I sit in silence for at least 15 minutes. If you’ve never done this before I’d start with 5 minutes. At first, you might feel really antsy, but I assure you that with time and practice you will begin to want to sit longer and longer. My goal is always to clear my mind and center myself in the presence of God. If thoughts come, I let them come and then I send them on their way. I imagine they are floating down a river in front of me. I also often imagine I am inhaling light and exhaling dirty, foggy air. I’m cleaning out my heart and emotions with each breath. Make sure you are sitting in a comfortable and quiet place. I have a pillow on the floor that I sit on and then lean against the wall supported by another pillow. Sometimes I’ll light a candle or play meditation music. You may consider HeadSpace or Calm App to guide you. I set the timer on my phone.
After I complete my 15 minutes, I open my journal. I write down the heading “I am listening” and then I listen and see what comes. I am very intentional about listening, to myself and to God. I write whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it’s a bunch of nothing and sometimes a brilliant idea comes or an answer I’ve been seeking. This may take 3 minutes or it may take 10. It just depends on what comes. At first, this may seem like kind of a strange practice. But as time goes on, I hope you will feel more comfortable listening to yourself. If you are a person of faith, for you, this may be listening to God. The point is to listen. We love to dole out requests and hopes, we rarely listen to what messages might be coming our way.
Next, I write down my goals in the affirmative. Rachel Hollis does a version of this in her Start Today Journals and I agree that it’s powerful to write something down as if it has already happened. I have 15 things that I write down. They can change, of course, but if they are really your goals, they likely will remain. That said, don’t be afraid to change them. You will get into a rhythm after you practice this for a bit. I write down goals in the affirmative on many topics, career, motherhood, marriage, physical and spiritual growth.
I’ll give you an example: For motherhood, I write down: "I see the individual needs of each of my boys and act on them." I chose this because I have three boys with very different needs and it would be so easy for me to just focus on Bodey with his special needs, but I’m very intent on doing my best to see each boy’s needs and talents. I want to support each one in their unique ways.
Another example: "I am courageous. I step into bigger rooms. Fear doesn’t own me." Believe it or not, sometimes I am afraid to step out and do things that need to be done to grow as a person or to grow the organizations I lead. I am continually reminding myself that fear does not own me.Finally, I write down “I am thankful” and I add 5 things that are front and center that I am thankful for that day. Again, write what comes. There is no right or wrong answer. If you don’t write down your kids’ names it doesn’t mean you aren’t thankful for them :-) This is your time so don’t judge what comes, just write them down. It's a great way to end this practice and step into your day. A grateful heart, despite circumstances, does shift our perspectives.
So to recap, there are four steps:
Sit in silence. Start with 5 minutes and add on as you are able.
Write down “I am listening” and see what comes
Write down your goals in the affirmative.
Write down a few things you are grateful for at that moment
The whole practice will take about 30 minutes once you do it a few times. If you only have 20 minutes or less, I’d recommend sitting in silence and then do the “I am listening” part. Just those actions will bring clarity and centeredness to your life.
I encourage you to try this for the last few weeks of the year and see how you feel. Maybe you will adapt this practice and make it your own, maybe not. If you do give this a try, I’d love to know what you think.
Before I leave you for the week I want to say a few closing comments. There are many weeks when I can only do this a few times during the week. That’s okay. It’s a practice. Practice cultivates practice. Start small and build. Cultivating practices in our lives ground us and help us to live more intentional lives.
Let’s be intentional with our time, love our people, be thankful for what we have despite our circumstances and begin thinking about how we can grow in 2020.
